Category: Uncategorized

Have you ever felt your workplace doesn’t quite fit the way you think, process and move through the world? From the recruitment process to team dynamics, many workplace ‘rules’ have evolved from stereotypical ideas of how people think and work. Different ways of thinking bring fresh perspectives and powerful strengths – and unlocking them can be a real game-changer for you and the place you work. Sometimes organisations just need a gentle nudge to recognise what is already there.

What’s the issue?

Being neurodivergent often means navigating systems and environments that can be overwhelming, unsupportive or just plain confusing. This can cause stress your neurotypical colleagues may not experience, certainly not in the same way or to the same degree.

Traditional business practices and environments are shaped by assumptions of how people should think, communicate and behave. From the job application and interviews, to onboarding, everything is shaped by these norms. Physical workplaces, too, are rarely designed with wellbeing in mind, particularly for people with sensory processing differences.

Once in role, recognition and reward frequently focus on generic behaviours : teamwork, multitasking, rapid task-switching, or particular communication styles. For neurodivergent professionals, some of these expectations may feel restrictive, or overwhelming, impacting performance, limiting progression or reducing confidence. Over time, resignation or burnout are strong possibilities.

The strengths of people who think differently

Despite what you may have been led to feel, you will undoubtably bring additional skills and different perspectives. When these are recognised and valued, this can be highly rewarding for yo, and can also offer your employer a genuine competitive edge. Let’s look at some of these strengths:

• Exceptional attention to detail, accuracy, and quality control: for those who enjoy fine-tuning, the process itself can be intensely satisfying, and the outcome…polished, reliable products and services that strengthen the organisation’s reputation
• Pattern recognition and data spotting: noticing anomalies, trends, and connections that others may miss. This can be deeply rewarding for the individual, but also helps organisations avoid costly mistakes, discover fresh opportunities, and explore new ways of working
• Creativity and divergent thinking: new ideas don’t always have to be groundbreaking – they might be a simple tweak that improves team processes, an inventive solution to a long-standing problem, or a way to fix those everyday irritations no one has got round to yet
• Hyperfocus and sustained concentration: when fully engaged, some people experience bursts of intense productivity. Beyond personal satisfaction, this level of focus can lead to new insights and breakthroughs that would not surface without deep, sustained thinking
• Visual thinking and strong perceptual skills: seeing problems through a visual lens can bring fresh perspectives and creative solutions. It can also make information easier to understand, improving accessibility for wider audiences
• Big-picture, systems and strategic thinking: by connecting ideas across different areas, new approaches to time, effort, and solutions can emerge. This way of thinking also helps teams stay focused on long-term goals, even when day-to-day demands are distracting
• Strong memory for facts, routines, or specialised interests: reliable recall can be a huge asset in the workplace, providing accurate information quickly, giving teams a stable foundation to build on. For the individual, engaging with areas of interest can also be calming and regulating
• Persistence and task follow-through: some neurodivergent people excel at seeing tasks through to completion. These practices are often undervalued, yet are essential for ensuring projects reach completion
• Curiosity and rapid idea generation: the flow of ideas, which can come from natural curiosity, can bring energy to teams and projects. This enthusiasm helps generate momentum, creates new opportunities, and inspires others to get involved
• Directness and clarity in communication: what may sometimes be labelled as “bluntness” is often a strength – cutting through unnecessary noise and enabling faster, more honest conversations. This clarity supports better collaboration, transparent decisions, and steady progress
• Empathy and alternative people skills: the idea that neurodivergent people lack empathy is a myth. Many are highly sensitive to the emotions and dynamics around them, just as others are to sensory stimuli. This heightened awareness can help teams spot problems early, nurture opportunities, and strengthen cohesion

This list is far from exhaustive. Do not expect to identify with every single one of these – and your neurotypical peers won’t either. But one or two may resonate, and those are the skills that set you apart. They are your USP.

Why organisations benefit from your coaching time

Organisations thrive when their people do. Boosting your confidence, supporting your strengths, and fostering an inclusive culture is good for you and will have a knock on effect on those around you. Effective teams increase the organisation’s competitive edge.

Neuroinclusive coaching provides one way to achieve this. Working with a coach – particularly one with lived experience of neurodivergence in the workplace – offers a confidential, supportive space to explore your unique ways of thinking and being. Together, you can develop practical strategies, identify helpful adjustments, and increase both your job satisfaction and the value you bring to your organisation.

Many employers have Learning & Development (L&D) budgets that can cover coaching. Smaller businesses may suggest applying for Access to Work funding, which can provide coaching as well as resources and software. However it is funded, coaching is an investment in you.

Thriving people, thriving organisations

When you feel genuinely welcomed, supported, and valued, you move beyond simply coping and begin to thrive, building the confidence and strategies to tackle what matters most in your workplace. Coaching helps create these conditions, enabling you to recognise your unique strengths and turn them into a personal USP. As you flourish, your organisation also benefits, gaining from the creativity, resilience, and fresh perspectives you bring to.

If you’d like to explore how neuroinclusive coaching can support you at work, I’d love to talk.

When we receive a neurodivergent diagnosis, it can feel like seeing ourselves clearly for the first time. Many clients tell me it brings a sense of recognition, even relief:

“I’m not broken, just different.”

But with this new self-awareness often comes something else – a reckoning with the models that shape how society views us.

What are the models and why do they matter?

The neurodiversity model recognises thinking, learning, and processing differences as natural and valuable variations in the human experience. This model invites us to celebrate uniqueness, acknowledge strengths alongside challenges, and resist the limiting notion that there is one ‘correct’ way to be in the world. Each neurodivergent person has a distinct profile; there is no single story, no universal experience.

Alongside this is the social model of disability, which places emphasis on the barriers created by a world designed around neurotypical norms and the impact this has on people whose brains are not wired as ‘expected’. This model states that when environments and expectations exclude neurodivergent needs, it is not the person who is broken, but the system that is unfit. Reasonable adjustments, from this perspective, are not special privileges therefore, but essential steps towards equity and inclusion.

Then there is the medical model. This describes neurodivergent people as a list of impairments and challenges – viewing the ‘problem’ as residing within them and requires diagnosis, treatment, or correction to align with normative functioning. This model is currently the dominant one in society, and as a result a formal diagnosis is often required to access support. However, it typically reduces the individual to a list of ‘impairments’, describing people as ‘disordered’, overlooking the nuanced reality of their lived experience and having little or no interest (certainly during diagnosis) in the strengths that frequently accompany their neurodivergence – and this is why I, and many in the neurodivergent community, take issue with this model.

Understanding the models around neurodivergent conditions is important because they shape the way the world interacts with us, what is available to us and how support services engage with us.

Personally, I am deeply rooted in the Neurodiversity model, and consequently I believe coaching is not about fixing or changing you. It’s about supporting you to understand how you work best, what truly matters to you, and how to navigate life in a way that honours your authentic self.

For many of my clients, especially those diagnosed in adulthood, the cognitive dissonance that comes from exposure to the impact of each of these models can be both confusing and exhausting – one moment liberating, the next destabilising.

Neuroinclusive coaching provides a space to make sense of that complexity, to embrace it without fear or shame. It offers a place to ask the awkward questions, to express the feelings which are coming up as you begin to gain clarity and agency.

Language really does matter

Take Autism, for example. A diagnosis of Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD) is still common in clinical settings, but many in the neurodivergent community prefer the term Autism Spectrum Condition (ASC). The difference may seem unimportant, but the impact is profound. “Disorder” implies brokenness. “Condition” is neutral, even respectful. As Meng-Chuan Lai puts it, it:

“… allows for the idea of being differently wired neurologically, leading to both cognitive strengths and difficulties.”

Too often, traits associated with neurodivergent conditions are pathologised, while similar traits in neurotypical individuals are celebrated. An Autistic person might be described as “controlling,” while a neurotypical person showing the same behaviour as “decisive.” Someone with ADHD might be labelled “impulsive,” whereas a neurotypical equivalent is simply “spontaneous.” These double standards create invisible barriers and contribute to internalised shame.

The truth is, we all live with a complex mix of traits and tendencies. Neurodivergent people may experience the world differently – our sensory responses, motivations, social expectations, and communication styles might not align with dominant norms. But when we reframe difference through a lens of strength and diversity rather than pathology, something shifts. And even minor adjustments in our environment or the expectations around us can lead to major improvements in confidence, well-being, and productivity.

It’s important to acknowledge that no single model totally works. One speaker at a recent webinar put it bluntly:

“There are two models of ADHD, and they’re both wrong.”

The Medical model says ADHD is a disorder best treated with medication and managed by professionals. The Social model says society is the problem, and if it made space for us, we’d thrive. The truth is probably somewhere in between. Yes, some of us benefit from medication or therapy. Yes, society creates unnecessary obstacles. Both models hold truths.

So, where next?

These models matter because they shape how we see ourselves, how others see us, and what support we believe we’re entitled to. None of them are perfect, but they all influence access to support, the language we use and our lived experience.

Whether you’re newly diagnosed, questioning, or simply trying to make sense of a shifting sense of self, I invite you to explore these models with curiosity. Challenge them. Question the language, the assumptions, the systems. Because in doing so, we can start to fix the environments we’re in, and we are then in a stronger position to find a more truthful, affirming understanding of who we are and live it.

Coaching with me offers a space to do just that: to unpack your experience without judgement; to explore what it means to live authentically; and to discover practical ways to move forward that honour your neurodivergence, rather than working against it. If you’re ready to explore how you work best, not how the world thinks you should do get in touch.

There’s a well-known quote attributed to Albert Einstein:

“If you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid.”

For those of us whose brains work differently, this captures something essential. When systems don’t accommodate how we actually think, feel, or learn, or describe us in ways which do not reflect what is actually going on for us, it’s easy to see why we begin to believe we’re falling short or broken in some way.

Neuroinclusive, strengths-based coaching offers a different perspective – one that recognises and values our abilities and personal qualities, helping us to see ourselves not as broken, but as whole, capable, creative, and resourceful individuals.

Why a strengths-based approach matters in neurodivergent coaching

For many neurodivergent people, life has involved years, often decades, of adapting, masking, and trying to fit into environments and interactions that don’t naturally accommodate how our minds or bodies work. Along the way, sometimes we experience rejection, exclusion, bullying and ridicule. These episodes can leave deep marks, often leading to confusion around identity, loss of confidence, as well as persistent feelings of shame, anger, worthlessness or fear.

Over time, these experiences become internalised, and we too may view ourselves through the medical model’s list of ‘impairments’, a list which underpins so many of the systems and societal biases we face – focusing on what we struggle with rather than who we are and what we’re capable of. Many of us come to believe, consciously or not, that we are broken and in need of fixing. When we reach out for support, it is often from a place of wanting to ‘improve’ or ‘overcome’ something.

But what if there was a different place to begin?

Coaching, by its very nature, is forward-looking and goal-oriented. It is about personal growth and movement. For neurodivergent people, the message really matters. A strengths-based, neuroinclusive approach focuses on the whole picture, what makes you you. Not just what you are good at, what comes naturally to you, or even what’s already working in terms of skills and talents and special interests. It also includes the qualities which reflect your identity and values i.e. honesty, kindness, humour etc. The approach values the whole person and explores how these strengths enrich your daily life, well beyond viewing worth in terms of external measures of productivity or employability.

Neuroinclusive, strengths-based coaching uses this increased self-awareness to then guide the direction of your coaching goal and informs your journey towards it.

Listing your strengths might sound simple enough on paper, but for someone who may have spent years being told to work harder at “overcoming” challenges, many have lost sight of the strengths as well as facets of their identity and don’t know where to begin. They might be able to generate one or two words or phrases, but many of my clients find it incredibly hard to articulate more than the bare bones initially.

In fact, you already, consciously or not, know a lot about your strengths and have developed incredible strategies which work for you – whether you realise it or not, you will know something about which environments help you thrive and what strategies help you find balance and focus.

A strengths-based approach doesn’t mean ignoring challenges, but it does suggest not starting from them. When we begin with strengths, we shift the internal narrative. We start to remember the things we find important, our values, our way of being in the world. We remember what we do well, the parts of ourselves that we love and value. From here, we can form goals that feel possible and authentic, goals that are aligned with what we know about our real selves.

If you’ve arrived at coaching with a sense of urgency to ‘get better at…’, talking about what’s going well can feel indulgent or beside the point. But practitioners of the strengths-based approach know the key to sustainable change often lies in self-awareness and self-compassion, and this is far easier to attain if you understand your strengths as well as the challenges of your unique profile – how you think, feel and engage with the world, and then build on it.

Using a strengths-based approach to reframe the past

Many neurodivergent people grow up being given labels and told they need to change who they are – to try harder, be more organised, less sensitive, more ‘normal’. As above, over time, this shapes how we see ourselves. A strengths-based, neuro-inclusive approach creates space to pause and develop a kinder awareness which can help you move away from viewing descriptors like: ‘overly sensitive’, ‘too intense’ or ‘impulsive’ as problems, and instead see them as part of your unique way of understanding and being in the world, with the potential for incredible contribution.

A few examples:

• What may be described as an ‘obsession’ with a particular topic or hobby – which can make it difficult to shift our attention – could also be viewed as an incredible strength when channelled intentionally. Hyperfocus, coupled with special interests, can generate not only intense satisfaction personally as you hit a ‘flow’ state, but also build remarkable levels of knowledge, fuelling creativity and producing powerful insights in specialist areas.
• Apparent difficulty following conventional processes may be judged as ‘disorganised’ or ‘wilfully disobedient’. In reality, divergent thinking enables the formation of novel connections, spotting patterns others missed, and arriving at innovative solutions. It’s this kind of thinking that underpins creativity and is often at the heart of scientific breakthroughs.
• Being described as ‘too blunt’ or ‘lacking social awareness’ is frequently interpreted as carelessness or even rudeness. Yet, honesty can foster clarity and trust, which can be not only refreshing but also highly valuable in both personal and professional contexts, often making relationships more real.

The traits associated with neurodivergence are neither good nor bad, rather they are natural patterns which can become strengths or sources of support needs depending on the context. What changes is whether the environment, the expectations, and the tools available make space for that trait to be expressed in a sustainable or supported way. This is why reframing is so important.

Take a look at the following deficit statements and their reframes:

Deficit model: Hyperfocus is a problem because the person loses track of time, it is difficult to get their attention, and they neglect other tasks
Neurodivergent reframe: Hyperfocus enables deep concentration and intense productivity on tasks of interest. This can lead to high-quality, innovative work which others might not achieve – sometimes even leading to step changes and competitor advantage in business and systems. It is also incredibly rewarding, self-regulating even for the individual.

Deficit model: Struggles with aspects of interaction, interrupting conversations, or jumping from topic to topic
Neurodivergent reframe: Fast-paced, associative thinking can be a feature of creativity and enthusiasm. It often reflects a brain that’s processing multiple ideas rapidly and making unique connections which can lead to great insights and progress both for personal projects, but also in the workplace.

Deficit model: Too rigid about routines and gets upset when plans change
Neurodivergent reframe: A strong preference for routine can bring stability and predictability to an environment, helping to create calm, organised spaces that support emotional regulation and reduces stress for everyone

Deficit model: Gets overwhelmed in busy social situations
Neurodivergent reframe: Valuing quiet time can lead to deep self-reflection, creativity, and strong one-to-one relationships. It also brings a calming presence to family life and a thoughtful approach to interpersonal connections

Deficit model: Overly fixated on their special interests – it’s hard to get them to talk about anything else
Neurodivergent reframe: Intense passion for a specific interest can bring joy, purpose, and a sense of identity as well as being an excellent form of self-regulation for the neurodivergent person. Sharing that enthusiasm can strengthen family bonds and introduce others to new perspectives, hobbies, or knowledge. On top of this, the intense interest can lead to insights and novel ideas that others might not notice

Strengths-based, neuroinclusive coaching can help you identify the conditions where your traits serve you best and support you to build strategies for when those same traits create strain.

Even taking time with individual words can be incredibly enlightening. This approach gives you space to revisit the labels you’ve been given throughout your life. This has at least two benefits:

Firstly, words can get attached to behaviours that actually have origins in useful or adaptive survival strategies.

For example:

‘Shyness’ might actually reflect a childhood coping strategy to avoid standing out, to avoid ‘making mistakes’ as you try to work out what is going on around you.

Being ‘bossy’ might actually reflect careful survival strategies around managing your environment so that you do not become overloaded.

Secondly, through missing the underlying origin of the behaviour, it is not uncommon for neurodivergent people to have labels attached to their behaviour, which when exhibited by neurotypical peers may be given entirely different labels:

• Impulsive – Spontaneous
• Controlling, bossy – Organised or decisive
• Non-compliant – Standing up for oneself
• Blunt – Direct, honest or truthful
• Shy – Introspective

Perhaps think back to the labels you were given as a child. How many of these do you think missed seeing the real you or described traits viewed positively when seen in non-neurodivergent people?

Through coaching, you can gently unpack these old labels and explore what’s true for you now. You might decide to reframe them, relabel them, or leave them behind altogether. This kind of reframing isn’t about ignoring the hard parts – coaching doesn’t pretend challenges don’t exist. Instead it recognises that many of the strategies you’ve developed to cope or succeed are signs of resilience, not failure.

A strengths-based approach can help you reconnect with your authentic self, so you can advocate for what you need and choose how to move forward. When you understand and value your own traits, it becomes easier to help others see them differently too.

Using your strengths to support your challenges

In a strengths-based, neuroinclusive coaching, instead of focusing on what’s hard or what needs improvement, we shine a light on the strengths, strategies and environments that already support your success – even if you haven’t noticed them yet.

This allows you to use this knowledge and these skills with purpose. Together, we look at how your strengths can help scaffold those things you find challenging.

A few examples:

• If task initiation is hard when you’re overwhelmed but you’re great at breaking things down and planning ahead, we might focus on how to use that planning skill to create a small, clear first step
• If your working memory gets overloaded easily, but you have good organisational skills, we might explore external systems or routines which take the pressure off your internal processing
• Someone with good self-awareness might be able to use this to learn how to spot early signs of low energy or stress, and adjust their plans before burnout sets in

Coaching offers the space and support to grow these strengths into consistent strategies. It’s not just about recognising what you’re good at – it’s about learning how to build on that so your tools still work even when you’re tired, anxious, or overwhelmed. A strengths-based approach helps you feel more in control, more confident, and more able to advocate for yourself in ways that are sustainable and authentic.

Self-advocacy through strengths-based coaching

A strengths-based, neuro-inclusive coaching approach offers more than just a way to reframe the past or manage daily challenges. It also lays a foundation for powerful self-advocacy – helping you express your needs and communicate your strengths clearly and confidently in both your personal and professional life.

For many neurodivergent people, advocating for ourselves can feel difficult, especially when we’ve been taught to downplay our differences or have internalised negative labels. Coaching helps to gently unpick these messages and replace them with a more accurate, affirming view of who we are.

By focusing on what already works for you – the environments you thrive in, the strategies that support your wellbeing, and the subtle cues you uniquely notice – coaching supports a deeper understanding of both your strengths and challenges. This insight becomes the groundwork for self-advocacy as you begin to recognise not only what you need to succeed, but why those needs are valid. From there, we can explore ways to communicate them effectively.

This process also supports the development of boundary-setting skills. Many neurodivergent people struggle with saying no, expressing overwhelm, or pushing back against unrealistic expectations. By working from a place of strength, coaching helps you understand your challenges not as failings, but as important information about how you function best. Learning to protect these boundaries is key to thriving – whether that’s choosing not to attend overstimulating social events, asking for quiet workspaces, or building routines that work with your energy levels rather than against them. We might work together to develop scripts for requesting accommodations at work, or practice setting personal boundaries that protect your energy and focus.

Ultimately, strengths-based coaching helps shift the narrative. It empowers you to recognise your traits as assets, not weaknesses, and to communicate your needs with confidence and clarity. This kind of self-understanding and advocacy is not just about getting by; it’s about living more fully, more authentically, and with greater happiness. When you’re able to show up in the world as your whole self – and ask for what you need to succeed – that’s when real transformation happens.

What next?

If you’ve spent much of your life adapting to environments that didn’t work for you, being told to tone things down, toughen up, or just try harder, it’s not surprise if your focus has been on ‘fixing’ rather than embracing. But what if the key to meaningful change isn’t about becoming someone different – it’s about becoming more of who you already are?

I invite you to take a moment to reflect:

• What strengths have helped you navigate life, even if they’ve gone unacknowledged by others?
• Where in your life are you still judging yourself by someone else’s standards – like that fish being asked to climb a tree?
• What might shift if you started from your strengths, rather than your struggles?

You don’t have to do this alone. Coaching offers a safe, structured space to explore these questions and more – to reconnect with your authentic self, and to build a future that works with your brain, not against it.

If this resonates with you, perhaps it’s time to begin that conversation. What might be possible if you gave yourself permission to start from what’s already working?

Neuroinclusive coaching is an adaptive and flexible approach which recognises and affirms the diversity of human minds. It is a strengths-based approach which honours the unique ways in which you experience the world. It creates a space that is accessible and affirming, one where you can choose to unmask if you want to.

Ultimately, it aims to offer a safe space which values your strengths, lived experience, and your personal goals, all the while understanding that linear goal setting doesn’t work for everyone, that energy levels fluctuate moment-to-moment, and that sensory as well as emotional needs are real and valid.

Why work with a neuroinclusive coach?

Coaching can be a powerful tool for reconnecting with yourself, breaking unhelpful patterns, and moving forward with clarity and purpose. But for neurodivergent people, it often comes with added labour – explaining your experience, translating your thinking, and wondering whether the coach truly understands or it is just another person who doesn’t really get it. A neurodivergent diagnosis isn’t just a label; it often marks a profound shift in identity and self-understanding that takes time and support to integrate.

That’s why working with a neuroinclusive coach, especially one who is neurodivergent themselves, can be so impactful. You’re not starting from scratch or trying to justify your perspective. Instead, you’re met with understanding, validation, and approaches that work with your wiring, not against it, and crucially, you’re working with someone who understands ‘identity transition’. Specialist coaching like this isn’t just helpful; it can be genuinely transformative.

Moving beyond neurotypical assumptions

Traditional coaching frameworks are often grounded in neurotypical assumptions about goal setting, communication, and productivity. This can unintentionally exclude or frustrate neurodivergent clients. Neuroinclusive coaching recognises that one size does not fit all.

For example:

• For neurodivergent people, progress in coaching is often non-linear. Periods of clarity and motivation may be followed by burnout, overwhelm, or shifts in sensory, emotional or executive function. Neuroinclusive coaching takes this into account, adapting pace and expectations accordingly
• Traditional goal-setting activities often involve visualisation exercises or metaphors to define success. For some neurodivergent people, metaphors can feel abstract or even confusing, while conditions like aphantasia (difficulty visualising or imagining) can make these techniques unworkable. Neuroinclusive coaching offers alternative ways to explore goals that are concrete, accessible, and aligned with your thinking style
• Success is often defined by mainstream ideas of productivity, ambition, or a particular model of work/life balance. Yet for some neurodivergent people, priorities differ. You might be more focused on reducing overstimulation, preserving energy, or living in alignment with less ‘typical’ values. Neuroinclusive coaching helps you define success on your own terms unhampered by conventional benchmarks

Why does it matter?

Many neurodivergent people have spent years navigating misunderstanding, mislabelling and systemic barriers, often masking our true selves and internalising limiting beliefs. As a result, we may struggle with confidence, communication and daily functioning in ways that are frequently overlooked or misinterpreted. Neuroinclusive coaching offers a rare opportunity for reflection and recalibration with a person who understands:

• Masking and how it differs from ‘reputation management’
• Executive function challenges coinciding with opportunities to reframe old labels
• Communication differences, including greater insight into how you express yourself and what you may need from the coach in response
• Sensory needs and how these can fluctuate moment-to-moment
• Internalised ableism and how this erodes confidence and generates limiting beliefs
• Systemic biases and who actively supports efforts to challenge these

Neuroinclusive coaches do not try to ‘fix’ or ‘change’ you. Instead, we celebrate together and work to uncover strategies which honour your unique wiring so you can reframe your internal narratives so they reflect a true and strong sense of who you are.

Key benefits of a neuroinclusive approach

No need to explain everything first

When you work with a coach who understands neurodivergence, you don’t have to start by educating them about ADHD, autism, dyslexia or other conditions. We may even share your condition, or have a close family member who does, so we know the shorthand. We understand how these conditions show up, and crucially, we know they show up differently for everyone.

This means we can start by focusing on you, not just your diagnosis, but your individual needs, strengths, and how you naturally process the world.

Tailored support that works with your brain

Neuroinclusive coaching is all about recognising there’s no one-size-fits-all approach. Your specific profile shapes how you reflect, express yourself, or engage with tools. So we adjust the tools to suit you.

That might look like:

• More time to process and reflect
• Using visuals instead of written exercises
• Exploring goals through conversation rather than forms
• Building strategies that support your executive functioning style
• Goals which honour your energy, pace, and priorities

Whatever works best for you, that’s where we start.

A space where you can unmask and be yourself

One of the most significant gifts of working with a neuroinclusive coach is being able to let your guard down. You don’t need to mask or present a ‘polished’ version of yourself. There’s space to be authentic, curious, messy, and real.

And that’s often where the best coaching happens, when you feel safe enough to stop translating and start exploring.

Recognising Strengths You May Have Overlooked

Many neurodivergent people carry internalised shame around the way they process emotions, think through problems, or navigate social norms, even when they’re highly competent.

Neuroinclusive coaching offers something different:

• A chance to reframe
• To name the strengths that may have gone unnoticed or been undervalued

• To ask: what if the way you are is exactly right?

Coaching that’s grounded in understanding, not assumptions

A neuroinclusive coach is trained to recognise the deeper context behind behaviours. We understand the additional cognitive effort you often invest to function day-to-day. We also recognise the role of unconscious bias in shaping how neurodivergent people are perceived and actively work to dismantle it.

When a coach understands the science and lived experience of neurodivergence, particularly when we share some of that experience, we show up differently. With more empathy and much more effective support.

You don’t have to do this alone

Whether you’re newly diagnosed, exploring your neurodivergence, or trying to rebuild after years of burnout, you deserve support that understands the landscape you’re navigating. Coaching won’t solve everything, but it can provide clarity, compassion, and practical tools for your journey.

If you’re ready to explore what life could feel like with neuroinclusive support, why not get in touch or learn more about the programmes I offer.

Discovering you are neurodivergent, whether through a formal diagnosis or self-identification, can be life-changing. For many, it begins as a moment of profound recognition. But what follows is often less talked about: identity transition.

Everyone experiences identity transition differently, but there do appear to be some common themes, and it is not unusual to hear people use words like grief and bereavement as well as relief and euphoria in connection with their experience.

To those on the ‘outside’, these words can sound dramatic. But think about it, the person has just realised the long-held beliefs about who they are could need a whole rethink. Not only that, but there are possible explanations for all the things they have been confused by, all the challenges they have had, which may or may not feel empowering.

For some people, identity transition is absolutely a grieving experience – they grieve the person they had assumed they were, mourn opportunities missed and hardships experienced, or experience distress about the shift in a future they had hoped for themselves (or indeed all of the above).

The fact that in many cases they were already asking questions about the way their brain works doesn’t necessarily lessen the impact of these realisations, and like it or not, for many, this forces a re-evaluation of their past, a reconfiguration of the present and a new perspective on what their future might look like.  And just like grief and bereavement, this can stir up a whole host of emotions, sometimes all at once, without warning.

Life before

Before discovering our neurodivergence, many of us interpret our challenges through the deficit-based lens that society has peddled our entire lives. We internalise painful messages: that we’re lazy, broken, too much, or not enough. We ‘fail’ at being neurotypical, we try harder, mask, and struggle on. Even if we have not absorbed lots of negative beliefs about ourselves (show me someone who hasn’t, I want to shake their hand), many of us will still have recognised and struggled with feeling somehow different, even if we did not know the specifics of how or why. A diagnosis can come as both a revelation and a rupture. On one hand, it offers a powerful new lens through which everything can start to make sense. On the other hand, it challenges the entire narrative we have built our life around.

Some people describe this as liberating, others are devastated. One thing is for sure: it is rarely one or the other, and we are pulled between emotions daily. This tension, between relief and grief, validation and new challenges, is at the heart of what the ND community refer to as identity transition.

A grief cycle

The emotional experience is sometimes mapped onto the Kübler-Ross model of grief. It’s not always neat or linear, but the stages frequently show up in some form:

• Denial: “It can’t be that simple” or “Maybe the assessment was wrong.”
• Anger: “Why didn’t anyone see this sooner?” or “I missed out on so much.”
• Bargaining: “If I just try harder, maybe I can still fit in.”
• Depression: “How different could my life have been if I’d known?”
• Acceptance: “This is who I am. I can work with it.”

As with bereavement, these phases don’t arrive politely one after another; they crash into each other several times a day, often with no warning, and they can completely derail you.

For me, there were periods when I couldn’t recognise myself, where I didn’t know what I thought any more. It was overwhelming, disorientating, and lonely.

Where this experience differs from the grief cycle is that there can also be moments of euphoria, relief, or validation. That rush of “things are starting to make sense” can be exhilarating. But even that can be short-lived. As Cynthia Kim of musingsofanaspie.com wrote:

“Once the bright shiny new ‘this explains everything’ stage wore off, I started thinking about the other side of being autistic…the challenges I faced weren’t imagined and they weren’t going to magically disappear. They were with me for life.”

Mourning the ‘old self’

What makes this process particularly intense is that it often involves mourning a version of ourselves that never quite fit in the first place, but one that we tried so hard to sustain. Many of us shaped our lives around external expectations, camouflaging our differences, and working twice as hard to appear “normal.”

So the grief we talk about in this transition can include mourning lost time, missed opportunities, and relationships damaged by misunderstanding.

This period can also surface internalised ableism, those subtle, harmful beliefs about what it means to be different, which we may have absorbed over the years, making it difficult to simply embrace the new information.

Rebuilding identity

After diagnosis we need to rebuild. Without guidance or role models, this can feel overwhelming and is why support after diagnosis is so important.

Unfortunately, all too often, we are left to pick up the pieces alone. Professional support is often not available in a timely manner, and our partners and friends struggle to know how to help. Figuring out a way ahead without support can be incredibly difficult, particularly if we are unaware that identity transition is a ‘thing’ we will all experience in some shape or form, and this on top of everything else we have been dealing with.

Rebuilding is about stitching together a new identity, one based on truth and self-compassion. It might involve:

• Reinterpreting the past through a neurodivergent lens
• Reframing traits or behaviours once described as flaws
• Connecting with others who share similar experiences
• Exploring more authentic ways of living and relating

It’s more than ‘just a phase’, and it’s not always easy.

What support should look like

If we recognise identity transition as part of the diagnostic journey, then the lack of follow-up support becomes all the more concerning. Whether this experience lasts months or years, everyone connected with the person needs to understand this isn’t just a ‘difficult patch’, a major psychological shift is happening – it is exhausting, confusing, upsetting, even if it is also liberating.

Patience and understanding from family and friends are paramount, particularly as we experiment with adjustments and unmasking. We need you to understand that we are the same person underneath, but the way we present may shift. If we seem more neurodivergent after diagnosis, this could be seen as a complement – we feel safe enough around you to unmask, or we have gained confidence to advocate for our legitimate needs.

Just know

There is no right way to respond to your discovery. Processing will take time, and it takes as long as it takes.

There are lots of us who have been there already, seek us out, ask for support – you do not have to navigate this on your own. And there is no shame in asking.

Coming to terms with a neurodivergent identity is often as destabilising as it is illuminating. One thing is certain, in this process – it is not a linear journey; you will have days where you feel like you are on a rollercoaster, but ultimately, you will find clarity and healing.

To acknowledge this experience as an identity transition is to give it the weight it deserves. And like all transformations, it needs compassion, time, and the right kind of support.

If you’re on that path, you’re not alone. And you are not broken. You’re becoming. Your neurodivergent community welcomes you, understands you and celebrates with you.

When you’re navigating a world that wasn’t built with your brain in mind, the support you need might not fit into tidy categories. Is it a coach, a mentor or a therapist or a mixture?

For many neurodivergent people, a diagnosis (formal or not) can mean revisiting lots of things: our past, what is working right now (or not), how we relate to others, and how we want to show up in the world going forward. Coaching, mentoring and therapy all address this, but in different ways – and when used thoughtfully, can complement one another with powerful results.

By understanding the differences between these approaches, you’ll be better equipped to choose the combination that best supports your needs. Let’s explore their similarities and differences…

What is coaching?

Coaching offers a structured, forward-looking space where you can set goals, build strategies, and address challenges.

As your coach, I support you to reflect on your experiences, make sense of them, and apply what you’re learning in ways that work for you. I’m not here to tell you what to do – instead, I’ll help you explore what matters to you, how you want to show up in your life and work, and how to support yourself more effectively as you do.

This could cover anything from adjusting to a neurodiversity diagnosis, figuring out tricky social dynamics, making workplace adjustments, job crafting, managing energy levels, to developing practical tools and strategies to handle everyday challenges in a world that doesn’t always recognise or understand your needs.

Together, we might explore your values, brainstorm options, clarify goals, and build strategies that feel right to you.

In coaching, the agenda is yours. I don’t bring assumptions or judgment – my role is to listen closely, reflect back what I notice, and ask questions that help you gain clarity. Your insights are at the heart of the work we do.

Mentoring moments: sharing insights and experience

Sometimes, for a variety of reasons, you might not want a reflective question. Sometimes you want a practical suggestion – and that’s where mentoring can come in.

With your permission, I may share a relevant insight, a resource I’ve seen work, or something from my own experience that might help. The aim of mentoring is to offer timely, practical input.

This is one of the key differences to coaching – a mentor draws on relevant, lived or professional experience. So finding the right match matters.

Crucially, you choose whether or not to take that input on board. While mentoring can feel more directive at times, it is still led by your needs and only offered where you consent.

Where therapy fits in (and where it doesn’t)

Therapy is a different type of support, with a different focus.

While coaching and mentoring may reflect on past experiences, they’re primarily centred on your present and moving forward.

Therapy, on the other hand, is led by trained mental health professionals and focuses on healing emotional wounds, working through trauma, and supporting your mental health in a clinical context. It’s the right route when you need to process painful experiences, explore deep-rooted patterns, or navigate mental health challenges.

I’m not a therapist, and part of working ethically as a coach means knowing when something falls outside the coaching space. If something in our session feels like it might be better served with a therapeutic approach, I’ll flag this and support you in thinking about where else you may access this support. This is not because I’m brushing you off – I am simply making sure you’re getting the right support from the right person for the issue of the moment.

Coaching, mentoring and therapy can absolutely work alongside one another, provided all practitioners are clear on their roles and boundaries are maintained. Sometimes, pausing one while focusing on the other is preferable – and I’ll always be honest with you if I feel that’s the case.

So… coaching, mentoring, therapy – what’s the difference?

Here’s a quick guide:

• Coaching is future-focused and client-led. It’s about growth, change, and moving forward. There is no advice – just space, questions, and tools to help you figure things out
• Mentoring brings in lived experience. It involves a bit more in the way of guidance, and can be really helpful when you want examples or direction from someone who’s been there
• Therapy is past-aware and clinically informed. It’s about healing, mental health, and making sense of deeper emotional experiences

Each approach has its place, and sometimes, working with more than one practitioner makes sense.

For example, someone might work with a therapist to process a difficult work history, while also working with a coach to explore values, clarify what is needed in a work context, and support the shaping of workplace roles and interactions in a way which takes account of their strengths and needs.

The key is that each practitioner stays within their professional boundaries – that way, you benefit from both perspectives without overlap or confusion.

My approach

I often blend coaching and mentoring to offer support that best suits your journey

• The Thrive and Shape modular programmes reflect this, combining elements of both approaches throughout
• The Bespoke programme is fully tailored to your preferences, and we can agree on the type of support that feels right for you before we start. And, if you opt for pure coaching but later identify a mentoring moment, we can revisit that together. It’s always your choice

So, whether you’re feeling stuck, redesigning your working life, or trying to understand aspects of your neurodivergent identity, coaching and mentoring can offer the structure, clarity, and encouragement you need.

If you’re curious about how coaching and mentoring might work for you, I’d love to hear from you. Let’s start with a conversation – no pressure, no judgement. Just you, me, and some time to explore what you need.